1984

Posted Sun Mar 30, 2008 in

I’ve been listening to a lot of music today. Right now, Pat Benatar’s Fire and Ice is playing in iTunes. There is a backstory, of course, just like there is for everything. But that would run the flow of my thoughts.

This time in 1984 we had been back in Rolla for about six months. After a bad experience with Law Engineering Testing Company, I returned to graduate school to pursue a Ph.D. (Yes, Piled Higher and Deeper!) We were learning that it was going to be a rough go, financially. It wasn’t that we were in better shape before we returned to graduate school; we weren’t. Our budget was hemorrhaging badly in Denver. We had more bills than we could pay and finding affordable housing was not easy. We sold about everything we owned to make the move back to Rolla.

We couldn’t keep the Pontiac Phoenix we owned, so I sold it and paid off the note. That left us with a 1972 Jeep Wagoneer I bought for $3001. We also found ourselves in a house we couldn’t afford to heat and had just come through the heavy heating season.

So, we were about to break our lease. My in-laws loaned us the money to buy a small trailer house, which we did. We moved over the Easter weekend, incurring the wrath of my sister because we didn’t go visit my folks, but spent the time moving. Sheesh.

School was hard, but good. I taught three sections of Calculus recitations and helped my advisor with his consulting business, then ran my own drafting business on the side.

The music I’m listening to this afternoon returns me, emotionally, to that time. My two older kids were small and I loved to spend time with them. We watched TV together and messed around in the house. Wife had a part-time job2 so I had the kids several evenings each week. It was a good time.

But it was also a hard time and the music reminds me of how I felt. It’s interesting how music can return me so readily to those times.

I’ve been thinking about trading cars, but not my car. Wife seems to take the 330i most of the time. I drive the Z4 more than she does, mostly just to see it driven. I think vehicles need to be operated to keep them in good condition. I know they’ll have it while they’re in Lubbock this summer. That will leave me with the Z4 and the bike. Hmm.. How do I get my stuff to the range when I want a range-day?

Well, to make a long story short(er), we spent a good part of the day yesterday looking at Subaru vehicles. I like the Forester and Outback the best, but the Forester is more like what I was looking for. But, the bad news is that they really didn’t want the Z4 in trade. So, after all the energy invested in the process, we didn’t get where I wanted to be. Gack!

So, I found myself emotional and intellectually wrung out and tired. So, I’m not doing too much today. Nope, I’m not doing much at all, except listening to music and cleaning up a few things on my virtual desktop.

After not getting to the point I wanted to be, I decided not to do anything further for now. I’ll take some time, rethink my goals, and then decide where to go from here.

1 We called that beast “The Tank.” It nearly always ran and would start when nothing else around would. The four-wheel drive was good when winter was on. I loved that old truck.

2 I made a commitment to Wife that she wouldn’t have to work, whatever was required of me. She chose to work part-time for the socialization and the discount at the clothing store where she worked.