Happy Birthday Old Girl 2023

Family snapshot from the 1980s, probably 1987.

Wife would be 71-years old today. I would be planning to take her out to supper. Her family would call and wish her well. Her friends would call from all over the country to wish her a happy day. She would have been on the phone all day long.

She would be late to leave with me for supper. Even if I was a little frustrated, it would be OK. It was her way. We would have a good evening out and then return home to spend some time together.

I miss those days, this one in particular, but also the holidays that she so loved. This is my lot now that she is gone. It is not that I feel that awful tearing pain of grief anymore; I do not. That work is done.

But there lingers the missing of that communal life. This will never go away. Even if I could make the hole go away, I am not sure I would. It is a reflection of that part of my life and is valuable in and of itself.

I am reminded of a phrase from a song, I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all… This is a small pain and tolerable. It is a good reminder of Wife. I miss her.

I think I will open a new bottle of wine this evening and raise my glass to the east, where her ashes rest. I will say “Thank you!” and “Miss you!” as I do, then turn to sit on the sofa with The Girl, who will snuggle up against me or put her heavy head in my lap. I expect a tear will be shed before the end of the day.

Still, I remain grateful for that communal life. We had a good life together. Life is still good.

4 thoughts on “Happy Birthday Old Girl 2023”

  1. Happy Birthday in heaven Janet! And a wonderful evening to you David!

    1. Hey Mighty Mouse! Thanks so much for stopping by. I really hope you’re well! Love ya!

  2. Beautiful reflections.
    Thx for letting us inside your head.
    Janet is worth missing, and definitely worth loving.
    Better to have valued your life together SO DEEPLY . . . that the hurting is weighted and found to be of value, especially in proportion to the love you shared.
    Courage flows thru your veins.
    Every day requires courage.
    Courage and a good, good Dog.

    1. Thank you for your encouragement, my friend. You are right about everything, but especially about the dog.

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