Thirteen-years ago, Wife died. As I have written and likely will write again, it was the end of a drawn-out process that might have produced a different result, but did not. The following couple of years were very difficult for me and I wrote quite a lot about that as well, both here in my corner of the Internet and in my journal.
It got better — I got better. But I will never, truly be over it. My buddy Jim told me that …it will always suck… Jim is also now gone, but his memory and his words last.
I woke this morning with a heaviness that only increased over morning coffee as I realized that today marks 13 years. I felt that familiar emotion rise while I made my coffee and admit that I shed a few tears.
I dealt with a meeting that was scheduled, then sat at my desk using Signal to message my kids and a friend. After a little more time passed, I decided I was hungry and I wanted to get The Girl out for a hike.
So I fed her and gave her the morning meds, then packed us into the rig and drove over to Betsy’s Big Kitchen. I decided to try some French toast to see if it will spike my blood sugar. It tasted really good and I kept aside a bit for The Girl.
We headed out to Silver Saddle Ranch. There were more walkers/hikers than expected. But it was noon on a gorgeous Winter day, so I should not be surprised. I discovered that I left the transmitter for her control collar at home, so she walked on-lead. I visited with a ham buddy as we hiked.
It was a good visit and between my friend and being outdoors with The Girl, some of the heaviness left.
I had a coffee date scheduled with another buddy for late afternoon, so I took a few minutes after returning home to stretch out with The Girl and listen to some music. I recently gave up on my classic iPod experiment and bought a DAP. I am in the process of provisioning it and learning to use it. I can boost the high frequencies enough that I can listen with cans and without hearing aids. It is more comfortable without the hearing aids.
Coffee with my buddy was good. We chatted about watches, as usual.
It was a good day, even if my mood was not really into it. I remember, Old Girl. You are still missed and will be until my time comes.
I remain grateful. Life is good.