I shot this through my front screen door using a Nikon D800E and a Voigtlander 90mm f/2.8 Skopar at f/8.
I woke a few minutes ago1, rolled over, and decided I wanted water. So I got, emptied my bladder, and got some water. I then sat down at my worktable and noticed my open journal. At the bottom of the page I had written “Vaya con Diôs, mi hermano. I love you forever.” I then remembered that my best buddy in high school died Sunday night. A cancer got him.
I did not get south to Corpus Christi on my last trip east. I made it as far south as Lubbock for a few days before heading west and home. Work called me home. I thought I would get back east and make the leg south this year, but then the workload increased enough that I could not leave.
Then he posted he was sick. A week or two later he posted he could no longer deal with social media. That was the last I heard from him. My text message went unanswered. My intuition told me things were bad. They were.
I can only hope he passed peacefully without too much pain. He had enough pain in his life. I prayed for him once I learned of his illness. I prayed for healing and I prayed for his peace. The healing was selfish and the peace was all I knew to offer.
I met him over 50-years ago. My dad moved us to Missouri to follow his dream of working a farm. That was either brave or foolish of him, to leave a life in surburbia and a job as skilled labor (heavy equipment operator) working as an independent contractor to pursue a life in rural Missouri working a farm.
That took me from the California school system (high school) to a rural high school in a town of 2,500 souls. It made me the odd man out and most of the townie boys were either hostile to the new guy or indifferent. A few were more open minded and friendly and my buddy was one of them.
We spent a lot of time together in high school. After high school we went our separate ways… he to the service and me towards engineering. I did not hear from him for many years until I found him on Facebook. That reopened the connection and we stayed in touch.
I attended our 50-year high school reunion primarily because he said he would. I had a project in Corpus Christi, so I made it a point to stop by and see him for a few hours before I had to leave. We kept up via FB after that.
Now there is a void left behind. The loss is not as savage as some in my experience, but there is loss nonetheless. I use aphorisms, generally with some light humor about them, and one is that the thing about living is that you never get out of it alive. One of the lessons for me is to live it, to make sure that I do some of the things I love every day… be sure to tell my loved ones that I love them, often… be kind to those around me… pray, thanking God for all good things… interacting with The Girl, playing, walking, snuggling… the list continues, so induct.
It has been colder here. Not that biting cold of deep winter, but below freezing in the morning and only a bit warmer during the day. But the Sun is shining and walking The Girl gives us a chance to absorb its generous heat in the cool air. The image above reminds me that just a few months ago it was a lot warmer and the Sun rose early. I miss it a little bit as we approach the Winter Solstice.
The Girl is lame in the port aft leg. I think she damaged her ACL and will need surgery. Her vet will do his workup on her today and then I will know the options for her treatment.
So i have to be careful with her so she does not damage it more. She will probably have surgery to repair it and then go through the healing process. So, we are in for a bit of work. But that is OK. I do not mind working with her at all. She is worth it.
And despite the loss of my friend, I remain grateful. I had time with him. He was my friend and brother from another mother. And life is still good.
The Girl was on the hunt when I called her back in. When there is little traffic where we hike, she is permitted to range out while I try to keep up and watch for danger. I also pause to make an image now and again and will call her in. I often get this squirrely face and sometimes we break into a big play. Shot with Sony A7iii. Lens and settings unrecorded, but probably the Nikkor 80-200mm f/4. Light post processing in DXO PhotoLab.
I closed another week yesterday. It went out with a bang! My buddy Greg called and asked me to lunch. The old radio-gang was to gather at the restaurant in Bodine’s Casino.
He called just as Sera and I were about to head out the door (about 1000h). He said “How about 11:30?” I responded it would be that or a bit later as we were just heading out. “Good enough…”
We drove out to Silver Saddle Ranch, me not knowing what kind of mess of traffic we would find. Unsurprising, there were several rigs parked at the gate. I got out and scouted, then grabbed my heavy hoodie, my camera (Fuji X100V), and her lead. “Come out,” I called and she jumped to the ground, excited to go see who had been there since the last time we came (Friday).
There was a couple heading toward us with a couple of dogs. So, I turned us east to bushwhack to the other trail. She followed readily, darting from sage to sage sniffing. We humped it up to the upper staging area, where I used to park. (I park at the gate now to lengthen our walks.) She needed to be on-lead a bit because another party was unloading from their rig. But there was no dog so there was no risk of a negative encounter.
I greeted the new folks and we chatted briefly as we passed. They were driving a nice 4Runner (newer than mine) and they appreciated The Girl. (Who would not?)
I did pause once for a frame, but badly underexposed it for the film simulation I was using. The frame was interesting, but what I wanted from it.
We turned the corner and headed east to the Mexican Ditch. I had to call her in a couple of times because she ranged out too far. At the Ditch, we paused so she could get a drink.
On the way toward the ranch compound, I broke into a jog — in part just to see if I could. My gait was more of a jiggle and a jog, but I managed a few hundred feet before I returned to my normal gait. The Girl got very excited that I was moving, so I did it a couple-three more times along the trail.
She returned to the lead for the passage through the ranch compound, but there was no traffic. The other folks who parked at the gate must have gone up Dead Truck Canyon, another hike that I like and we need to do.
We hurried (just a bit) back to the rig and to the house. I did the two-minute shower, dressed, and was out the door as she fell asleep on the bed. I headed to Greg’s Place and we visited there for a few minutes before the last of our party checked in. So we loaded up and headed for Bodine’s.
The food there is decent, if not as good as it was a year ago. I have noticed the decline in quality and the increase in price. A favorite entree, the Cowboy Steak, on the $5.99 list migrated to the regular price menu a couple of months ago. The Spaghetti with Meat Balls and Marinara deteriorated to a watery marinara with little flavor. The Chicken Parmesan disappeared from the menu. The $5.99 menu changed to a $7.99 menu.
However, the specialty salads remain good. A couple of the soups are good. A number of the entrees remain good. So, I continue to visit the place and often meet by buddy Jimmy there for supper (more on that later). Sometimes I go if I want a specialty salad, am low on food at the house, or just am too tired to prepare my own meal.
When they are not too busy I put The Girl’s In-Training vest on her and give her another repetition. She is good to lie on the floor under the table at my feet. Sometimes she will sit for a bit and I scratch at her head. It is good to have her near even if she has not learned her service yet).
The group gathered at the booth I grabbed for us. We laughed and visited over iced tea and water until our food came. There were old stories, some told the first time and some retold. It was all good and the fellowship was welcome.
When it felt like the group was about to break up and go our separate ways, I excused myself and headed for the house. I still had some things I wanted to get done and I wanted to see The Girl (My Girl).
She greeted me at the door in her way, sleepy and soft-faced. I ruffled her ears and she shook. She checked my hands in case I brought a treat. “Not this time, Love, I ate it all.” So I took her into the kitchen and got out a doggie cookie. That raised her energy level a bit and she sat for her treat without being asked.
Then I got out the Sony A7S (original model) that had sold Friday late. I found a box and packing material and started the process. A few minutes later I had a parcel prepared and the postage bought. I deposited the now ready to ship parcel near the front door.
A text message from my buddy Jimmy came in “Supper at 1730h?”
“Sure” I responded. That meant I had a little time before heading back to Bodine’s, so I gathered up The Girl for a short nap. That was good and I had enough time, so we headed out to refuel the rig and drop the parcel at the Post Office. I knew Jimmy would want to see The Girl and it was not too cold, so she went along.
It is a good thing to see Jimmy. We visited over supper, with me eating a little lighter. I had plenty of food at lunch and so opted for a soup and salad. The visit was good and I love this old man like a brother. We have seen plenty of easy and hard times together, that is for sure.
He greeted The Girl a second time as we headed out. She checked me again for food (nothing), and we headed home. There she got her evening treat and we began the process of settling in for the night.
It was a very busy day, in a good way. It brought closure to a very busy week and a very good way.
Postscript: The image is one I made last week on walkies. I was running the Sony A7iii and probably the Nikkor 80-210mm f/4 zoom. That is a very good lens, particularly when equipped with a hood to reduce flare. It focuses fairly close and is quite sharp. I am pleased with this image.
And so begins a new week in mid-November. I am grateful, once again. Life is good.
Gina’s at The Nugget. Shot with Sony A7Sii and a Carl Zeiss Jena 35mm f/2.4 Flektogon, probably at f/8, SOOC.
David Fleet did a nice video on Gear Acquisition Syndrome and YouTube gear reviews. His words resonated a bit with me because I tend to be a gearhead.
There is nothing inherently wrong with an admiration of cameras and lenses — they are fascinating and wonderful machines after all. But, if one intends to use the tools to make images, then fascination with the equipment can become a trap as it becomes the focus and not the use of the equipment.
Thus, GAS also applies to any endeavor, be it amateur or professional, that relies on (expensive) equipment to accomplish said endeavor. (Ahem) Radio (ahem) can also be in this category.
I went through a bout of photographic GAS last year and the beginning of this year. I bought several cameras and a few new lenses. (Plus a few vintage lenses, perhaps this will be a topic for another weblog entry.) I used each of them enough to form an opinion on whether or not each would become a part of my regular kit.
The three most significant cameras purchased over the last year are: A Fujifilm X-T5, Fujifilm X100V, and a Sony A7Sii1. The X-T5 replaced my old X-T1, which was my entry into the Fujifilm ecosystem. I have plenty of lenses for this camera. They can do everything that I might want to do, perhaps with the exception of a tilt-shift lens for architectural photography. However, I do not do much architectural photography and I have a vintage Nikkor 35mm tilt-shift that could be pressed into service.
If I want to carry an interchangeable lens camera, then the X-T5 is my go to. I can choose a couple of lenses that will handle my intended subject, toss the camera, lenses, and support2 into a bag, and off I go. I have adapters for the Fuji if I want to shoot vintage glass.
But, sometimes, I do not want the complications associated with an interchangeable lens camera system. I want to take a camera, a purpose-built machine for making photographs (not a cellphone). But I want simplicity. So, I have a Fujifilm X100V. Even with the lens hood and a small grip attached, this is a small camera. I can carry a small bag with the camera, support, and a water bottle and have a capable system. I often carry this bag under a backpack when I hike with The Girl.
I like the simplicity of a fixed-lens camera. I do not have to make a decision about what lens to use. I raise the camera to my eye (or use the screen), frame the shot, and make the capture. There is something liberating about making images with a fixed-lens camera and I use mine a lot.
Plus, the Fujifilm in-body film simulations are quite good. There are also hundreds of programmable film simulations available for Ritche Roesch’s Fuji X Weekly website (and smartphone app). My favorites are currently Reggie’s Portra 400 simulation, the Tri-X simulation, and the Kodachrome 64 simulation.
I generally shoot raw (perhaps plus an in-camera Fuji film simulation JPEG) or JPEG only with one of the programmed film simulations above. The raw files are readily post-processed using either the in-camera film simulations (to JPEG) or using PhotoLab7. But, I find that I often just shoot the in-camera or programmed film simulations on the fly and then use those straight out of camera. There is probably another entry about this process.
I bought a Sony A7S (Mark I) as a test to see how it worked and whether I liked the results with my vintage 35mm (full-frame) glass. I found that it worked, but desired the in-body image stabilization, so I bought an A7Sii. This is a solid camera. But after shooting with one for more than a year, I decided I want a little more resolution, I do not shoot video (a specialty of the A7S), and want a bit more power in the processor. So, a Sony A7iii is on its way.
Now, all of this is quite a bout of GAS. Last week I considered my investment in all of these cameras and decided it is time to let many of them go. I decided I want to redirect my energy from seeking the best camera and lenses into making more images and working on the art part of photography. After all, a major part of my return to my cameras is the search for practices that feed my soul.
Furthermore, I am plagued by the engineer’s curse of always seeking to optimize the system. I agree with Fleet that any modern camera, or every modern camera, and the associated lenses are capable of making excellent images. It really is up to what system works best for each photographer’s approach and preferences. For me, it is the Fujifilm for digital photography. I need to leave behind my impulse to find the best because what I have is plenty good enough to accomplish my goals.
Where is this leading me? Well, I began the process of liquidating my excess gear. I made images of the A7S and its vertical grip this weekend and will list them for sale this week. The A7Sii will follow shortly, maybe next weekend. I sold/traded the X-T1 to a buddy who already loves the camera. I have three more Fujifilm bodies that will be photographed and sold soon.
There are others as well. And there are a few film cameras to follow as I have time to make the images and post them.
Something else Fleet said also resonated with me. That is the proliferation of YouTube channels that receive pre-release equipment, prepare their reviews, and then post simultaneously on release day. For example, Fujifilm just released the new X-M5, their smallest camera in the X-Trans line. I noticed a bunch of YT videos appeared in my feed on the same day.
I am not in the market for the X-M5. I looked at the X-M1 as a possible carry camera, but the lack of a finder turned me away. A finder is a requirement for my way of photography. Many times the ambient light is simply too bright for me to properly frame the shot with only the rear screen. This is one of my gripes about using a smartphone for photography.
But, Fleet mentioned these YT channels and how this is just part of the marketing strategy and the general push of commercial consumerism. I really just do not care to play. And Fleet decided to stop doing equipment reviews and focus his content on photography and not stuff.
That said, I will upgrade my X100V to the X100VI. I want the in-body stabilization and upgraded processor that the X100VI has. I will then be set for my digital camera setup for awhile, probably years. It took me nearly 10-years to upgrade from my X-T1 to the X-T5. So, it will be several years before I am again motivated to upgrade my main cameras.
Now, if I can only curb my appetite for vintage glass. There are already many posts of shots using vintage glass (as above). There will be more, for sure. Plus, I recently shot a bunch of comparison shots from my collection of 35mm focal length lenses. I was curious about their performance, particularly a tiny little Soligor 35mm f/2.8. When the Sony A7iii arrives, I will re-shoot this series and then write it up.
But, I need to leave the fascination with the latest, greatest, and search for the best digital gear behind and focus on the creative aspects of photography. These are much more difficult than buying equipment. Perhaps that is why so many people chase the gear instead of investing the energy in developing the craft.
It is certainly food for thought.
I am grateful for the tools I have. Life is good.
1There are a handful of others and a few more vintage film camera bodies, but again, those are probably the topic for another weblog entry.
2Support here means a spare battery (or batteries), a spare memory card or two, and a bottle of water and snack if I am hiking with Sera.
The Girl and I walked a showery day out at Silver Saddle Ranch last week. All the fair-weather hikers stayed home, so we nearly had the place to ourselves. Mother Nature put on a nice display for us as we started our hike. Yes, there is a rainbow. Shot with Fuji X100V at f/8 using the Kodachrome 64 film simulation, SOOC.
I had supper with an old friend last night1. One of his favorite subjects (as a photographer) is bees. He loves to make images of bees going about their work. He reminded me that I stumbled upon at least one pepsis wasps a couple-three years ago. Well, maybe it was four-years ago.
Ki and I were walking one of our routes along the Carson River/Mexican Ditch out at Silver Saddle Ranch. There is a section of that trail I call “The Slot” because one side is bounded by a fence intended to keep livestock (and people) out of the river corridor and the other side is bounded by a fence to keep livestock in the pasture. An irrigation ditch parallels the latter so there is a large berm to keep water in the ditch. The path is only four or five feet wide, in contrast to 10 or 15 feet wide along other sections.
I generally kept Ki (and now Sera) on-lead when we pass through that section of the trail. Line of sight is limited and I do not want to be surprised by other canines. I suppose that is unnecessary information.
On the particular day, I noticed a couple of butterflies working a milkweed plant. And then I noticed a black wasp with red wings. That got my attention. I had the Fuji X-T1 with the Fujinon 35mm f/2 lens mounted to it2. I made a capture of the wasp… probably several captures.
I cannot find them. I spent an hour last night looking for the originals and found nothing. They must be lost with one of the transitions in software I made over the years. I recall leaving both Aperture and Lightroom behind. The images might have been lost the respective libraries. that is a pity.
In any event, I found an image here in my weblog. It was a rumination on a chance meeting with a woman named Judy M., who I met on the trail out by Carson River. My recollection is that she was another wanderer who was working through some life changes. I recall that we visited off and on while hiking the trail and that she created her own weblog where she posted her own ruminations.
I have not heard from her in several years. We kept up via email for a while. Her weblog is gone. Perhaps she is, too. I do not know.
But, as I think I have reflected here a number of times, I am reminded that we have circles of engagement about us. The smallest holds those closest to us — close family, closest friends, and lovers. They are more permanent than most other people we encounter in life.
The next circle is a bit larger. It contains the first group plus other friends and professional relations. These are less permanent relationships, though they might be strong for a time. But things change and those folks move on to other places, people, and endeavors.
The last circle is larger yet. It contains the first two groups plus the myriad of other folks who wander into our lives for a time, maybe are close and could possibly join the other inner circles, but for whatever reasons do not stick and wander away again.
That departure sometimes leaves a hole behind. I can think of a few relationships that I thought were going to last, with the individual moving close and closer to my inner circle for a time, maybe even stay for a year or three. But, sometimes abruptly, they leave. Those leavings sometimes hurt a bit.
Judy never made it that close. But we were friends for a time. I wished her well and enjoyed the company and conversation of another who wanders. I wonder where she might be now. I expect to never know.
In the end, I find it a bit fascinating how dynamic my social life has been. I have never had a large social group. I am an introvert and gain energy in solitude (with my dog now; with Wife for many years). But I have a social group and parts of it are dynamic, with others moving in and out of my circles.
Now I need to get on with my day. I am preparing to sell several camera bodies that I am not using and am going to use. I replaced my first Sony A7S with an A7Sii last year. My approach to photography is a bit different than the use case of A7S series, so I bought a Sony A7iii late last week. It will be delivered in a couple of days and I will put it to use shooting my vintage glass.
A few weeks ago I took a notion to shoot the 35mm lenses in my vintage collection. I did the shoot with the A7Sii and was fascinated by the difference in optical performance. I am going to re-shoot the test with the A7iii (a 24MP camera opposed to the 12MP of the A7Sii) and then put together a comparison of the results. I do not expect a dramatic difference attributable to the change in camera resolution, but that will make an interesting observation as well. It will be fun.
The image is from last week. We had a day of showery weather — definitely a sign that fall is here and winter approaches. We walked anyway, with The Girl pausing now and again to shake the rain from what little fur she has. As we hiked the access road, I noticed the bright patch over my left shoulder and paused to make an image. The faint rainbow was a gift.
As always, I am grateful. Life is definitely good.
1No, I did not have an old friend for supper last night!
2I thought I had a different body and a Vivitar 90mm f/2.5 macro lens. I guess my remembry is broken. Or there are (or were) more images than just the one.
My morning often involves use of my vintage Esterbrook J Demi fountain pen. I restored it and it is filled with Noodler’s Zhivago. The drafting pencil is used for guidelines, just like I used to when I was a drafter. Image made using the Nikon D750 and a Nikkor 35mm f/2.8 at f/4. Image straight out of camera.
We all have routines, or something I call dailies. They are a set of habitual behaviors that serve us in various ways.
My morning regimen generally involves a coffee (or two), made one mug at a time. I heat water, warm the mug and Aeropress, grind my beans, and then extract the drink. This is a ritual.
Once I have coffee, I sit at my desk for a few minutes enjoying the coffee and spending some time with my journal. I usually make a prayer list and exercise it. I write any thoughts that came up during sleep… sometimes recording a dream or a dream fragment. I think about the coming day and what needs to be done. And I write about anything that is or was remarkable.
This process usually involves another mug of coffee. As my wake-up routine progresses, I might watch a bit of YouTube if any of my followed content creators published something I want to see. I also tend to my Bullet Journal to review what was done, what needs to be done, and to plan (ha!) my day. Then it will be breakfast time.
This place is a Carson City landmark. There are many images of it, particularly at night. Shot with the Fuji X-T5 and Fujinon 35mm f/1.4 at f/8 and rendered to a Tri-X 400 Film Simulation in-camera. SOOC.
It was a busy day and is not quite over yet. I am working on a hydrology report for a client that I need to get out. Then there is another hydrologic analysis that needs my attention. I am called to staff the radio room at the NV EOC tomorrow morning. The EOC was stood up this week in response to the Davis Fire south from Reno and north from Washoe Lake in Washoe County. That is just north of me about ten miles.
Next week and the week following are field work. So I am busy this month. Busy is good.
I checked Facebook this afternoon, briefly, to post a music video I came across from one of my blog posts. It was good when I posted it and is still good. So I decided to share.
After posting the link to YouTube with a smile and small chuckle, I noticed a PM waiting. I opened it and it was from my friend Sandy. Then I nearly hit the floor. My old friend Jim M. died Monday. I have no other knowledge than he is gone.
Just. Like. That.
I felt that heart-hit that comes with such news. I wept, openly. Jim and I knew each other since back in the 90s when I came across his weblog, long idle and soon to be long gone. His love of photography and words match my own and we became friends. I still remember Sunday Morning Coffee with Jim. We would type back and forth on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) for an hour or so every Sunday morning.
He was there for me during my clinical depression. He was there for me when Wife died.
I do not carry much regret, but I carry this one — I was close enough to visit earlier this year. I did not take the time. Now, that time has passed.
Now his wife Sandy has a long row to hoe. Her griefwork will be different than mine, but yet it will be the same in that it has to be done.
I have a few more thoughts, probably. But they need to rattle around in this brain of mine before I can make sense of them.
Vaya con Dios, my friend. You are missed.
The image? Well, with The Girl sick I walked from the house and made a few circuits through downtown Carson City. Old Cactus Jack is still there, beckoning the tourists to come in and spend a dime, or a dollar. I saw the setup and made the capture.
A capture of Smurfette with the Fujifilm X-T1 and a Zhongyi 35mm f/0.95 lens. Post-processing in the iPhone 13 Pro Max using Snapseed.
I needed an image for my Project 365 this evening. The Fujifilm X-T1 with a Zhongyi 35mm f/0.95 manual focus lens was sitting on my desk. I picked it up and made the capture of Smurfette. She sits on my worktable, a toy I found lost or discarded in the backyard of my apartment. I am sure there is a story there. After washing her with a toothbrush and some detergent, I decided she needed a home and my place is as good as any.
It makes me think I should get out some of my Schleich toy animals and feature them on my desk, in rotation. They accompanied me on my walk-about after Wife died. I would get them out wherever I landed and put them on my desk for company when I worked.
The Girl and I had a good hike this morning. We went up in the mountains again. We were blessed with a bit of high clouds so the Sun was not so brutal.
When we got home, I visited with Older Son while I grilled a hamburger for lunch. Lunch was good, with the hamburger dressed with Pepperjack cheese, lettuce, a slice of red onion and some tomato, and spicy mustard. It was tasty.
I also finished the install of my Starlink system here at the house. I bought a Starlink late last year so I could have Internet service while traveling. This releases me from the desk because I can work anywhere. There is no reason to pay for landline Internet and Starlink, so I decommissioned the landline and access point/router, installed a wall pass-through for the Starlink cable, and added a Ethernet switch for the wired connections. I also terminated my ISP service and will return their equipment this week.
I am working on getting my workroom in order. I still need to clean the PC side of my workspace, strip and recycle the old tower, and transfer the 32-inch monitor to the new laptop computer. I can use the extra screen real estate for my work. I might start that process tomorrow.
Much of the week will be spent in the field surveying. I have some office work to do as well, which is good with the money I have been spending.
I am reading a set of E-zines I purchased from Sean Tucker, a UK-based photographer and writer who reminds me much of myself. Although, he does a lot more portraits than I do. But, much of his other work does remind me of my own photographic interests.
It was a good day. The Girl wants some of my attention, so I think it time to move to the sofa so she can snuggle. After I fed her, she started asking. Now she is waiting patiently on her bed under my worktable.
The trail The Girl and I walk almost daily this time of year. Shot with Sony A7Sii and a Carl Zeiss Jena 50mm f/1.8 Pancolar. Light post processing with DXO PhotoLab 7.
At this time of year, The Girl and I walk mostly in the national forest. We get above 7,000 ft, where it is a little cooler. We gain the shade of the Ponderosa Pines. There is generally little other traffic on this trail, although we sometimes meet another hiker.
The climb does me good. The chipmunks provide much entertainment for The Girl. It is a bit more than a mile out to our common turn-around point. There we pause for a couple of minutes. I give her anywhere from a half to a full liter of water. I drink a little for myself. We take a breath.
Then I put the pack back on (and usually a small camera bag) and we head back to the rig.
I keep a sharp eye out for other traffic as I do not want a negative encounter for The Girl. I have also seen a bear (very briefly) once. There was a coyote that I saw several times last summer who did not appear to be afraid. (Not a good thing for him!) Fortunately, I was able to wrangle The Girl and never threw more than a few 3/8″ steel shot (with a sling shot) to scare him off.
I really love this trail. If we get out early enough, it is still cool and she does not overheat. If I wait too late, then the sun warms her and with the exercise she is too hot.
On this particular morning, we were out a little early and the light was still good. I made the capture a dozen meters from out turn around point because i like the interaction of the light on the trees and the curl of the trail in the midground.
We had a great hike. I am grateful for the beauty of the place where I live. Life is good.
Shot with the Sony A7Sii and (I think) a Carl Zeiss Jena 35mm f/2.4, probably about f/5.6. The RAW file was post processed with DXO Photolab7 using an Ektachrome 64 film simulation.
I just finished David duChemin’s All Questions Answered webinar a few minutes ago. I had a huge collection of questions sent in by his followers and students and winnowed down the list to maybe a dozen questions.
I found his answers to the questions of interest, but it was his excursions on tangents generated by the questions that I enjoyed even more. It was an hour and a half of listening to him brain dump his thoughts and feelings about the craft and he is articulate. So, it was an easy listen.
I cannot recall if I have any of his books. If not, I will need to rectify that. I am signed up for one of his courses and need to get after that as well. I will learn something, I am sure.
One of the questions was something like “What do you photograph for?” He had an articulate answer for the question (it makes him feel alive) and then enumerated a list of other reasons photographers have for spending the time, effort, and money making photographs. It was a good list.
He also spent time talking about finding the subject/genre that lights a fire in you. Ask the question “What am I passionate about?” Then go chase that.
The rhetorical question “What if I can only travel with my family?” was asked, and he shared Alain Laboile’s craft, which is he only photographs his family1. As with all art, one just has to find a way to make it work within the structure of one’s life.
I have written any number of times — I make photographs because it is one of the things that feeds my soul. There is a focus and joy that comes from noticing something as I move through my daily life and then taking a few minutes to explore it with a camera.
The header image is an example. Sera and I were hiking the trail in the national forest. She was hunting chipmunks. I was looking for the interplay of light, shadow, and texture in the world around me. This particular bit of lichen on a branch caught my eye. There is plenty of light and shadow. There is a muted set of colors, punctuated by the bright light green of the lichen. There is a randomness in the fall of the pine needles. Then there is the branch at a diagonal through the frame.
These things caught my eye2. It is one of several images made of similar subjects that day. Sera happily hunted while I paused to make the images. Then we were off on the trail again, both of us on the lookout for our prey.
Life is short. If there is something that would make you happy, go do that. Make sure it gets done. Because, one day, it will be too late.
I remain grateful. Life is good.
1Note to self: Buy one of Laboile’s books and study the images. 2With a nod and an homage to Wife, who said this to me many times.
In general, I do not care for the iPhone’s image processing. The images look cooked to me. However, sometimes it is the camera I have in hand. Such was the case when the sun broke below the clouds during a shower at the Summit Lake research station. So, I made the capture, cooked or not.
Last night it was too hot to be outdoors and too hot in my workroom. So, I made a gin and tonic (light) and sat on the sofa. The Girl discovered I was on the sofa and came in to be close. I am good with that.
I started Netflix and put in my AirPods (the Apple TV now recognizes them) and set them to noise cancel mode. The swampy in the living room is pretty noisy. So are all the fans running in the house.
I decided to watch A Man Called Otto. Tom Hanks is a favorite actor and I have enjoyed his dramatic work. I was unprepared for the impact of the story, though.
Otto is a late middle-aged engineer who is retired after a company merger and is a widow. The plot does not reveal much at the beginning and I will produce no spoilers here. The movie is listed as a dramatic comedy, but I did not find much funny in it.
What I found was an immediate connection to the Otto character, not so much for the stereotypical fastidiousness of an engineer, but for the depth of grief for his beloved wife.
The poignancy of his recollections of time spent together hit me over and over. Sometimes the hits were light; others were body blows. I was startled at my emotional reaction to these vignettes and paused the movie several times to reflect, grieve a little, and collect myself.
The experience reminded me that my own grief remains alive and well, thank you very much. It is not that I have not processed my grief; nor has it not be healed (at least to the extent that such grief can ever be healed). It is simply that I find myself still missing Wife and all the times and places we shared together.
Like Otto, I still find myself reminded of a time and place where we were together doing things. All the time building a life together, finding multiple houses and making homes of them, taking care of the kids and enjoying most of that process, traveling (mostly to see family) and all the stories that come from that, and just spending the morning together sharing breakfast and solving the world’s problems at the table over coffee (for me) and tea (for her).
Many times those memories raise some longing, nostalgia, and melancholy. These emotions are often mixed with joy and a laugh at the circumstance. It is a powerful, poignant cocktail of emotions, all right. No one will ever say she was a saint; but neither am I. But it was a good life together and she remains loved and definitely missed.
The movie reminded me of something my friend Jim told me after Wife died…
It sucks. It’ll always suck. But in time it will suck less…
I took him at his word more that 11-years ago. With time, I found he was right. And it still sucks, even if the suck is less.
You are missed, Old Girl. You will always be missed.
The Girl looked up over her shoulder at me several times during the movie. She even rose up to nuzzle me a few times, her whiskers stiff and tickly. It is her way of giving kisses. Unlike many dogs, she knows the difference between a lick (social wash or sign of submission) and a kiss of affection. She is my best buddy, my constant companion, and the love of my life. She reads me and responds.
I’ll take the pain. I am grateful. Life is still good.
