Cactus Jack’s

2024/09/122024/12/06 ruminator

This place is a Carson City landmark. There are many images of it, particularly at night. Shot with the Fuji X-T5 and Fujinon 35mm f/1.4 at f/8 and rendered to a Tri-X 400 Film Simulation in-camera. SOOC.

It was a busy day and is not quite over yet. I am working on a hydrology report for a client that I need to get out. Then there is another hydrologic analysis that needs my attention. I am called to staff the radio room at the NV EOC tomorrow morning. The EOC was stood up this week in response to the Davis Fire south from Reno and north from Washoe Lake in Washoe County. That is just north of me about ten miles.

Next week and the week following are field work. So I am busy this month. Busy is good.

I checked Facebook this afternoon, briefly, to post a music video I came across from one of my blog posts. It was good when I posted it and is still good. So I decided to share.

After posting the link to YouTube with a smile and small chuckle, I noticed a PM waiting. I opened it and it was from my friend Sandy. Then I nearly hit the floor. My old friend Jim M. died Monday. I have no other knowledge than he is gone.

Just. Like. That.

I felt that heart-hit that comes with such news. I wept, openly. Jim and I knew each other since back in the 90s when I came across his weblog, long idle and soon to be long gone. His love of photography and words match my own and we became friends. I still remember Sunday Morning Coffee with Jim. We would type back and forth on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) for an hour or so every Sunday morning.

He was there for me during my clinical depression. He was there for me when Wife died.

I do not carry much regret, but I carry this one — I was close enough to visit earlier this year. I did not take the time. Now, that time has passed.

Now his wife Sandy has a long row to hoe. Her griefwork will be different than mine, but yet it will be the same in that it has to be done.

I have a few more thoughts, probably. But they need to rattle around in this brain of mine before I can make sense of them.

Vaya con Dios, my friend. You are missed.

The image? Well, with The Girl sick I walked from the house and made a few circuits through downtown Carson City. Old Cactus Jack is still there, beckoning the tourists to come in and spend a dime, or a dollar. I saw the setup and made the capture.

Smurfette

2024/08/112024/08/11 ruminator

I needed an image for my Project 365 this evening. The Fujifilm X-T1 with a Zhongyi 35mm f/0.95 manual focus lens was sitting on my desk. I picked it up and made the capture of Smurfette. She sits on my worktable, a toy I found lost or discarded in the backyard of my apartment. I am sure there is a story there. After washing her with a toothbrush and some detergent, I decided she needed a home and my place is as good as any.

It makes me think I should get out some of my Schleich toy animals and feature them on my desk, in rotation. They accompanied me on my walk-about after Wife died. I would get them out wherever I landed and put them on my desk for company when I worked.

The Girl and I had a good hike this morning. We went up in the mountains again. We were blessed with a bit of high clouds so the Sun was not so brutal.

When we got home, I visited with Older Son while I grilled a hamburger for lunch. Lunch was good, with the hamburger dressed with Pepperjack cheese, lettuce, a slice of red onion and some tomato, and spicy mustard. It was tasty.

I also finished the install of my Starlink system here at the house. I bought a Starlink late last year so I could have Internet service while traveling. This releases me from the desk because I can work anywhere. There is no reason to pay for landline Internet and Starlink, so I decommissioned the landline and access point/router, installed a wall pass-through for the Starlink cable, and added a Ethernet switch for the wired connections. I also terminated my ISP service and will return their equipment this week.

I am working on getting my workroom in order. I still need to clean the PC side of my workspace, strip and recycle the old tower, and transfer the 32-inch monitor to the new laptop computer. I can use the extra screen real estate for my work. I might start that process tomorrow.

Much of the week will be spent in the field surveying. I have some office work to do as well, which is good with the money I have been spending.

I am reading a set of E-zines I purchased from Sean Tucker, a UK-based photographer and writer who reminds me much of myself. Although, he does a lot more portraits than I do. But, much of his other work does remind me of my own photographic interests.

It was a good day. The Girl wants some of my attention, so I think it time to move to the sofa so she can snuggle. After I fed her, she started asking. Now she is waiting patiently on her bed under my worktable.

Life is good.

Daily Image: The Trail 16 July 2024

2024/07/162024/07/15 ruminator

The trail The Girl and I walk almost daily this time of year. Shot with Sony A7Sii and a Carl Zeiss Jena 50mm f/1.8 Pancolar. Light post processing with DXO PhotoLab 7.

At this time of year, The Girl and I walk mostly in the national forest. We get above 7,000 ft, where it is a little cooler. We gain the shade of the Ponderosa Pines. There is generally little other traffic on this trail, although we sometimes meet another hiker.

The climb does me good. The chipmunks provide much entertainment for The Girl. It is a bit more than a mile out to our common turn-around point. There we pause for a couple of minutes. I give her anywhere from a half to a full liter of water. I drink a little for myself. We take a breath.

Then I put the pack back on (and usually a small camera bag) and we head back to the rig.

I keep a sharp eye out for other traffic as I do not want a negative encounter for The Girl. I have also seen a bear (very briefly) once. There was a coyote that I saw several times last summer who did not appear to be afraid. (Not a good thing for him!) Fortunately, I was able to wrangle The Girl and never threw more than a few 3/8″ steel shot (with a sling shot) to scare him off.

I really love this trail. If we get out early enough, it is still cool and she does not overheat. If I wait too late, then the sun warms her and with the exercise she is too hot.

On this particular morning, we were out a little early and the light was still good. I made the capture a dozen meters from out turn around point because i like the interaction of the light on the trees and the curl of the trail in the midground.

We had a great hike. I am grateful for the beauty of the place where I live. Life is good.

Daily Image: Lichen 14 July 2024

2024/07/142024/07/14 ruminator

Shot with the Sony A7Sii and (I think) a Carl Zeiss Jena 35mm f/2.4, probably about f/5.6. The RAW file was post processed with DXO Photolab7 using an Ektachrome 64 film simulation.

I just finished David duChemin’s All Questions Answered webinar a few minutes ago. I had a huge collection of questions sent in by his followers and students and winnowed down the list to maybe a dozen questions.

I found his answers to the questions of interest, but it was his excursions on tangents generated by the questions that I enjoyed even more. It was an hour and a half of listening to him brain dump his thoughts and feelings about the craft and he is articulate. So, it was an easy listen.

I cannot recall if I have any of his books. If not, I will need to rectify that. I am signed up for one of his courses and need to get after that as well. I will learn something, I am sure.

One of the questions was something like “What do you photograph for?” He had an articulate answer for the question (it makes him feel alive) and then enumerated a list of other reasons photographers have for spending the time, effort, and money making photographs. It was a good list.

He also spent time talking about finding the subject/genre that lights a fire in you. Ask the question “What am I passionate about?” Then go chase that.

The rhetorical question “What if I can only travel with my family?” was asked, and he shared Alain Laboile’s craft, which is he only photographs his family¹. As with all art, one just has to find a way to make it work within the structure of one’s life.

I have written any number of times — I make photographs because it is one of the things that feeds my soul. There is a focus and joy that comes from noticing something as I move through my daily life and then taking a few minutes to explore it with a camera.

The header image is an example. Sera and I were hiking the trail in the national forest. She was hunting chipmunks. I was looking for the interplay of light, shadow, and texture in the world around me. This particular bit of lichen on a branch caught my eye. There is plenty of light and shadow. There is a muted set of colors, punctuated by the bright light green of the lichen. There is a randomness in the fall of the pine needles. Then there is the branch at a diagonal through the frame.

These things caught my eye². It is one of several images made of similar subjects that day. Sera happily hunted while I paused to make the images. Then we were off on the trail again, both of us on the lookout for our prey.

Life is short. If there is something that would make you happy, go do that. Make sure it gets done. Because, one day, it will be too late.

I remain grateful. Life is good.

¹Note to self: Buy one of Laboile’s books and study the images.
²With a nod and an homage to Wife, who said this to me many times.

A Man Called Otto

2024/07/092025/07/09 ruminator2 Comments

In general, I do not care for the iPhone’s image processing. The images look *cooked* to me. However, sometimes it is the camera I have in hand. Such was the case when the sun broke below the clouds during a shower at the Summit Lake research station. So, I made the capture, cooked or not.

Last night it was too hot to be outdoors and too hot in my workroom. So, I made a gin and tonic (light) and sat on the sofa. The Girl discovered I was on the sofa and came in to be close. I am good with that.

I started Netflix and put in my AirPods (the Apple TV now recognizes them) and set them to noise cancel mode. The swampy in the living room is pretty noisy. So are all the fans running in the house.

I decided to watch A Man Called Otto. Tom Hanks is a favorite actor and I have enjoyed his dramatic work. I was unprepared for the impact of the story, though.

Otto is a late middle-aged engineer who is retired after a company merger and is a widow. The plot does not reveal much at the beginning and I will produce no spoilers here. The movie is listed as a dramatic comedy, but I did not find much funny in it.

What I found was an immediate connection to the Otto character, not so much for the stereotypical fastidiousness of an engineer, but for the depth of grief for his beloved wife.

The poignancy of his recollections of time spent together hit me over and over. Sometimes the hits were light; others were body blows. I was startled at my emotional reaction to these vignettes and paused the movie several times to reflect, grieve a little, and collect myself.

The experience reminded me that my own grief remains alive and well, thank you very much. It is not that I have not processed my grief; nor has it not be healed (at least to the extent that such grief can ever be healed). It is simply that I find myself still missing Wife and all the times and places we shared together.

Like Otto, I still find myself reminded of a time and place where we were together doing things. All the time building a life together, finding multiple houses and making homes of them, taking care of the kids and enjoying most of that process, traveling (mostly to see family) and all the stories that come from that, and just spending the morning together sharing breakfast and solving the world’s problems at the table over coffee (for me) and tea (for her).

Many times those memories raise some longing, nostalgia, and melancholy. These emotions are often mixed with joy and a laugh at the circumstance. It is a powerful, poignant cocktail of emotions, all right. No one will ever say she was a saint; but neither am I. But it was a good life together and she remains loved and definitely missed.

The movie reminded me of something my friend Jim told me after Wife died…

It sucks. It’ll always suck. But in time it will suck less…

I took him at his word more that 11-years ago. With time, I found he was right. And it still sucks, even if the suck is less.

You are missed, Old Girl. You will always be missed.

The Girl looked up over her shoulder at me several times during the movie. She even rose up to nuzzle me a few times, her whiskers stiff and tickly. It is her way of giving kisses. Unlike many dogs, she knows the difference between a lick (social wash or sign of submission) and a kiss of affection. She is my best buddy, my constant companion, and the love of my life. She reads me and responds.

I’ll take the pain. I am grateful. Life is still good.

Edit 09 July 2025: This entry popped up on my On This Day sidebar today. When I saw Jim’s quote, it broke my heart a little. My friend died late last year/early this year. I do not know what happened and it does not really matter. All that matters is that another good man is gone.

It also matters that I was close and did not take time to stop and meat in real space. That opportunity has now passed. I am reminded that if I want to do something, take time to do it. For the opportunity may not come my way again.

Father’s Day 2024

2024/06/162024/06/17 ruminator

Sera hopped up on this gnarled old fall and posed for me. So, I made the capture. Fujifilm X100V, Fujinon 23mm f/2 at f/4. Straight out of camera.

I am nearing the end of my day. I woke about my usual time, rose, took care of business, and made a coffee. Then I sat at my desk to work on my bullet journal and my regular journal while I worked through my first coffee.

I had a couple of things to make some progress on today. One of them has lingered on my list for awhile now. That is to clean my workspace and reorganize it almost completely. I want an external monitor attached to my new MacBook Pro and the second external monitor attached to the Winder$ laptop. The extra screen space will improve my operation, particularly when working on GIS maps and hydraulic models.

But it another big project and I struggle with big projects right now. I was so busy for so many months with big consulting projects and then work started to slack off last fall. (Hence my travels east…)

As I wrote in my journal, I prepared my prayer list for the day. When it came my turn in my prayer time, I talked to God about “What one thing can I do today that will improve my life?” I answered for myself — work on my workspace.

Older Son and DiL called on their way to do an errand. We chatted a few minutes and it was sure good to hear their voices.

Bringing up the MacBook Pro gives me access to my music and my photo library. (I have Blues Traveler playing as I write this.) These things make life better.

But, The Girl demanded food and then a hike. So, I fed her and made myself a little food. We drove up the our summer hiking area and walked up the trail. Along the way I paused to photograph this gnarled old tree. I looked up and Sera had hopped up on the tree and was on overwatch. So, I made the capture.

We returned home and I decided to make some lunch (leftover tacos), have a short nap, and then started on the project. There was a lot of wiring to clear (everything is zip-tied to some hangers under the table to reduce the cable mess). I had a new monitor stand ready and a new hub for the MBP.

Young son called and we chatted for a bit. Neither of us had much news, but the connection is important.

I use a Caldigit hub to extend the capability of my MBP. The old unit was retired when I retired the iMac. A new TS4 was waiting to be unboxed and installed. It took a bit of work to get the table cleared, cleaned, and the monitor stand set. Then I chose a place for the TS4 and got it connected. It was then time to bring the MBP from its case in the living room.

Setup of the MBP to operated closed took a few minutes. I probably need to calibrate the monitor so it reproduces colors properly for my photographic work. But I can buy a sensor and go through the process.

I think it is time to post this and then get some food. I am starting to tire and need to feed myself. I think I will go sit on the sofa with Sera and snuggle a bit while I relax.

As the day wanes, I am reminded again that life is good. I am grateful.

Addendum: An entry where I did the original work of setting up my worktables popped up on Monday (17 June 2024). It has been six years since I conceived and implemented my workspace. In the meantime, I added the Audioengine S6 powered subwoofer to my system. That addition really filled in the soundfield. It made my near-field monitor system sound really good.

Reflecting On A Day

2024/03/192024/03/19 ruminator

This is my lovely Sera, playing with her ball in a field while we were on walkies. Like Ki before her, she is the love of my life and a joy to be with. Shot with my iPhone 13 Pro Max without post processing.

One of the things I like about my weblog is that it is a diary or journal of sorts. I have posts going back to 2001, although those from 2001–2012 (or so) are off line for reasons described elsewhere. Last year I found an On This Day plug-in for my CMS and got it installed. It pulls entries dated on the access day (like today) and puts them on the left sidebar.

This morning I checked my weblog and found this entry. It is a description of Ki and I walking the ridge at Hidden Valley Regional Park on the east side of Reno. At that time, we were housed in a La Quinta in Reno while I worked and figured out what was next for us.

Some mornings we walked in town. That was not very interesting as I really do not care for city energy and Ki had to be on leash. Once I discovered the park, we went there nearly every day until I moved us to Carson City, where we live.

I really loved reliving the tale told in the entry. I remember walking that ridge with Ki and how much fun she had running out and back searching for lizards. In that regard, she was much like Sera is today and I love them both for it. They are/were so engaged with life and such good life lessons for me.

Today, The Girl (Sera) and I will get out and have a nice outing. I am thinking that some radio play might be in order.

I am grateful. Life is good.

The Complexity of Modern Cameras

2024/01/282024/01/27 ruminator

The above YouTube video is by a favorite content creator, Alex Kilbee. He is an excellent photographer and a great teacher. It is definitely worth the watch. If you have not watched the video, then I suggest you watch it first. Then the following will make more sense.

Although I think I am a bit older than Kilbee (heh), I grew up with a simple mechanical camera and film. I was young and had little money to spend on equipment, so I made do with what I had… A body, a 50mm lens, and two aftermarket lenses — a 35mm and a 135mm. That was my kit.

I shot semi-pro back in the 90s with a pair of Canon AE-1 bodies and a few lenses. I made a few bucks, helped out some students and bands, and had a blast. Then I moved into the digital realm and got sucked into the quagmire of increasing cost and complexity.

I set my cameras aside nearly 10-years ago and used the iPhone for snapshots. Last year I was so busy I decided to pick up my cameras again so I could do something creative while hiking with my dog. I upgraded the Fuji X-T1 to the X-T5 and was astonished at the increase in quality and complexity, although the latter camera was far more refined than the former. I also picked up a Fuji X100V and found that to be the camera I carried most of the time… because of its simplicity in comparison to the more capable and more complex X-T5.

And therein is the key, I think, to Kilbee’s thesis for the video. I (we) need simplicity to focus on what is important, the image and working the subject. Digital is nice because the incremental cost of shooting is minimal whereas film is a real expense for each frame.

So, now I find myself with three old (but new to me) cameras: A Bronica S2A, a Nikon F2, and a Contax TVS point and shoot. Why? I have two reasons… well, perhaps three reasons.

First, I really like film. I am not shooting for hire or for publication; I am shooting to please myself. It is a creative outlet.

Second, there is a simplicity in the cameras. The point-and-shoot has some settings, but the camera mostly handles everything once you drop the film cassette into it. I find it an easy way of having a film camera handy when something interesting shows up. The Bronica and Nikon are simple, but capable cameras. The Bronica has no metering system — an external meter is required. The Nikon has a metering prism that uses a center-weighted meter. Both require the photographer (me) to set the shutter time and aperture. This is how I learned when I picked up a camera all those decades ago.

Third, I am learning to ignore the complexity of my digital cameras. The X-T5 will do a bagillion things in any number of ways. The X100V will do half a bagillion things in few ways. I find that setting them up for auto-ISO and auto-shutter speed, setting up back-button focus, adding one or two favorite custom settings (film simulations), and then running the aperture to create the depth of field I want is sufficient. I then forget about every other capability of the camera and just run it.

Aside: I run a black diffusion filter on my X100V — the smallest amount of diffusion possible. I find that this filter, coupled with a film simulation (Reggie’s Portra 400 and Tri-X are my favorites), provide a filmic look to the resulting JPGs. The filter also makes the X100V weather resistant, which is a bonus. I also keep the RAW files handy (sometimes) in case I want to experiment with different film simulations after the fact.

Kilbee is absolutely correct about the complexity of modern cameras and how that complexity can interfere with making photographs. It is one reason I am experimenting with film once again. But I also know that I will continue to use my digital cameras because they are capable of great images. I can dumb down the images with appropriate filtration and post processing, although I do not enjoy post processing.

The bottom line is to stop fiddling with all the camera options, pick a few to set up the camera so it works for you, then get busy looking at the world around you and making photographs.

The Waffle House

2024/01/262025/01/26 ruminator

Some decades ago, probably in the 1980s, my practice of long road trips began. They were mostly associated with traveling from where we lived to visit family in Missouri. However, with time (and age), they have morphed into long travels for a variety of reasons. I still visit my family, but have added to that list old friends. Then there are trips added to visit work sites and just because I want to go.

What I found is the Waffle House. I have eaten breakfast at these places all over that part of the country that the franchise serves. The food is decent. It is not bistro-quality, but the short-order kind of food. I really like the waffles, the batter they use is very good. And I found that pecans in my waffle is an added tasty treat.

There is a Waffle House a few miles north from Ozark, Missouri. I am here visiting with my kids and waiting for the camper to be repaired after the blown tire tore s#*$ up. The parts are in and the camper is in the shop. Before the next leg of my trip, it will be good to have the little house restored. I really prefer sleeping in my own space.

I wished I had brought along a couple of my film cameras. Specifically, I had a Nikon FA kit partly assembled and the Pentax 645 kit was mostly assembled. But, I ran out of time to get everything done before I needed to leave. So, I left my film cameras behind.

This I regretted enough that I bought a Contax TVS point-and-shoot. It is a little point-and-shoot 35mm camera based on a Vario-Sonar zoom that is very good. I wanted the T2 (fixed lens) version, but the wannabees have driven up the price of the prime-based Contax that cameras are no longer reasonable. The TVS is a kind of sleeper that makes solid images at some cost to control. It is a point-and-shoot, after all.

I have always wanted a mechanical Nikon camera. When I was a young man, I wanted a Nikon Photomic. It was a tool of the professional, with prices accordingly. I could not afford one. I can now, so a F2AS joined my inventory along with a couple of lenses that are not in my collection.

I have ~~lusted~~ wanted a Hasselblad 500-series camera for a very long time. But, they are out of my price range. I might have been able to buy one four- or five-years ago, but then the prices were driven up because of the Hasselblad reputation, I suppose, and because film is becoming popular again. I have a couple of the V-mount lenses in my collection. I suppose it is now time to sell them… because…

After substantial research, the Bronica S2A is an acceptable substitute for the 500-series Hasselblad. No, it is not the equivalent. But it is close, close enough. It will provide the 6x6cm experience (and challenges). The Nikkor glass for the camera is quite good. It is a mechanical camera that should run the rest of my life. If it needs repair, it is repairable.

One wandered into my life a few days ago. I still need to introduce it. I will.

So, now at the end of my mental wandering (AKA rumination), the image can be explained. I was running a test roll through the Contax TVS and saw this scene. So I turned off the flash and made the capture. I love having access to a Waffle House from Ozark. I am often up early, so I can get out for breakfast at a favorite place. It can be an interesting place to make a few captures as well.

I like it. Life is good.

¹Gear Acquisition Syndrome, an affliction of lust that many photographers succumb to that causes an increased load and a reduced bank account.

Eleven Years — 19 January 2024

2024/01/192024/01/19 ruminator5 Comments

Older Son and I were actually at the B-29 Cafe, in the same center. However, the light on the sign does not illuminate the B-29 part of the sign. Irony? Shot with the Fujifilm X100V 23mm f/2 at f/8 with the Regie’s Portra film simulation.

I woke early this morning (or late last night) and was awake for an hour or so. There is nothing unusual about that — it happens often enough. Instead of picking up my iPhone, I picked up the MacBook Pro (such a lovely size for a laptop computer!) and opened the shell. It woke immediately and a light touch of my fingertip to the sensor unlocked it.

The day had already turned and I noticed the date. When I opened my weblog page, I saw the list of On This Day entries on the left. This served as a substantial memory punch that Wife left us¹ 11-years ago.

That realization was not the gut punch that it was several years ago. I did the work necessary to be healed. But, I felt that cold grasp around my heart that serves as a reminder of a substantial loss. I think that is part of the suck my friend Jim referred to so many years ago.

It sucks. It will always suck. But it will suck less as time passes.

I also noted that I did not post on several of the anniversaries. I will look again in the morning to see if I posted the day after. I am not one to back date my posts. I have also been extraordinarily busy the last few years.

My 2019 post was filled with dread of Ki’s coming death. She was very sick the end of 2019 with a brain tumor and I knew she would leave soon. That was also a difficult time for me². Ki was a strong connection to Wife because of how well Ki watched over her when she was sick. It was hard losing her, too.

But, here I am 11-years later, remembering what happened this day. It was awful saying goodbye that last time. I feel a heaviness right now as I recall those last moments, her attempt to say something, and her departure from this life. To say it is a memory that will haunt me the rest of my life is not melodramatic; it is truth.

I am so thankful we had some good months together between the time her first treatment regimen ended and the second began. I am thankful that I insisted we use that time to do those things that were important to her, not knowing what was coming but preparing nonetheless. I am thankful her family and dearest friends came to see her before the end to bring their love and positive energy to her.

I am thankful for all the years we had together, for the life we shared, for all the laughs we shared, for love we shared.

I will not spend the day in mourning. She would chastise me for that. I will, however, remember her several times this day as I go through the tasks required of me. I will be grateful for the day and for the life that we shared. I will play with The Girl and get her out for a short walk, even if the temperature is heading toward 0ºF. (Yes, it will not be a long outing!)