Fall, Clouds, and Sunsets

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Carson Valley SunsetFall arrived a couple of weeks ago. The warm/hot afternoons abated, suddenly. They were replaced with cool, brisk mornings and pleasant afternoons. As evening comes, it’s cool outside again and if the wind is blowing, it’s cold. A cover is required.

Last night I walked the Girl about 1800 or a bit after. Sunset isn’t really until about 1830 these days, but with the Carson Range, we lose the Sun about 1800. If there are any clouds, there is a chance we’ll see some color about formal sunset. Although I love the big blue skies of Nevada, I’m ready for a few clouds and the sunsets (and sunrises) they bring with them. I also love the promise of winter. I love cold mornings and the feel of the Sun on my body when I’m outside.

There is something wonderful about that sensation of cold/warm. Perhaps it’s the hint of danger of cold weather coupled with the feeling of warmth and safety, a juxtaposition of two extremes. I sometimes wonder if there is a deep gestalt wired into our lizard brains about such primal things as hot and cold, ice and fire. Civilized life comes with our central HVAC. These mighty machines are all powered from somewhere and by some means that is unknown to most of us. We scarcely give it a thought, unless the power is out. Then we revert to the primal, seeking warmth against the cold.

For me, fall hints at the coming winter with those cold, sunny days that I love so much. I put up with, perhaps celebrate the snow and the promise of spring runoff that drives agriculture in my region. The snow never lasts very long and it’s beautiful, particularly on the Carson Range and on the Pine Nut Mountains.

I love the yellow of the aspens against the darker greens of the pines. I can see the aspen groves in the valleys along the eastern slope from my house. One fall morning, I first noticed them. I wondered what the color was that I was seeing from my driveway here in suburbia. I called Wife and we got out my binoculars for a look. The eight magnifications of my Nikons brought the aspen groves into view.

Wife and I marveled at that for a bit, remembering our first experiences with aspens in Colorado nearly 30-years ago.

The aspen groves are visible now. I can see them on my travels to and from work. I planned to get the Girl out this morning and drive up to Hope Valley. I don’t know if the aspens are in fall colors or not, but I think the drive might be good. But, I hear rain as I write this. That probably means snow in the mountains. I might get her out and drive up there anyway.

One evening last week the Girl and I went out for evening walkies. I carried my D300 along with me, with the 18-70mm kit lens attached. The kit lens isn’t the best of Nikons optics, but it’s adequate. Of all the frames I shot that evening, there was only one keeper. The remainder were technically adequate, but artistically deficient. The colors just were not that good.

But that’s OK. It is the nature of nature photography… sometimes you get a shot; sometimes not. Mother Nature is not always cooperative.

Done

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Paint Fight GirlI met my friend Jimmy at Comma Coffee this afternoon for a short visit. While there, these three girls came in for a drink/meal. We asked them what happened and they told us about their paint fight. They were cute, photogenic, and willing.

This morning I finished up the last of Wife’s boxes. There were three cartons left over. One of them contained photographs. The other two were papers that were dealt with in about an hour. The photographs are set aside so I can work through them over the winter.

I put four more 13-gallon bags of grindings into my dumpster and hauled the remaining three down to the office to put in the company dumpster.

That stuff is all gone now and a part of my history, where it belongs.

There are a few more cartons of miscellaneous stuff here in the house. I have 11 cartons of paper/books/reports from my Texas Tech office. However, the latter I know and I can dispense with them pretty quickly. I feel another book purge coming on. I’m going to get rid of a substantial portion of the remaining library. Those books in the office cartons will be dealt with as well. I’m going to determine what I really want to keep and the remainder will go.

I found a couple of cartons from my home office in Lubbock. I think I know what’s in those cartons. The board wargames will be sold. I’m betting there are some photographs and negatives in those cartons as well. They will be archived.

I’m going to tackle some of those things in a couple of weeks. I think I can deal with my things in a weekend or two. I’ll be done with this phase soon and then it will be time to regroup. The initial assault will be complete and it will be time to mop up.

This is a good thing and I feel like a weight is lifted. I’m thankful.

Red Sunset

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Red Sunset

The Girl and I stopped at one of our usual spots on evening walkies. I was home late, having gone to the grocery store after the mail run. So the sun was just below the Carson Range as we left the house.

God once again treated us to a beautiful fall sunset. I had a Nikkor 28-105/3.5-4.5 AF zoom on the D300 for walkies and dialed in at 105mm and f8. I should probably have turned up the ISO slightly, but I didn’t want the extra noise, so I braced myself on the fence and made the capture.

Limerick

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While going through boxes (and boxes, and boxes) of old papers, I came across an ancient yellow sticky note.

There once was a man named Clyde
Who fell in a cesspool and died
He had a brother
Who fell in another
And now they’re in-turd side-by-side.

Grinding A Life

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SunsetThis weekend I really stayed on task and worked through four more boxes of fossil records. There remain only two small cartons of papers that are stowed on the staging table in the garage and a small carton in my living room that I think contains photographs. I will probably break open the photograph carton tomorrow and see what is in it.

I ground cancelled checks, statements, and tax returns dating from 1972. I think Wife kept every bit of paper that came into the house. I threatened several times to just deal with the old records myself. But her fear of losing something that was important overruled my desire to clean up after ourselves and she just became too anxious for me to proceed.

I refused to do it with her, because I knew she would agonize over every decision. I didn’t believe the job warranted that. She knew what I thought. I wasn’t argumentative about it; I just thought it was something that needed to be done.

Well, with her death the job fell to me anyway. I am determined to get through all of that old stuff and deal with it. Most of it (over 90 percent) will go away. A few bits and pieces will be kept and those are mostly things that have her words on them. I do miss her words.

As I worked through all those papers, I recognized a lot of things and places from the past. There were receipts from favorite eating places, records of trips taken, records of work done. As I passed them through the grinder I couldn’t help feeling that I was grinding up the record of our lives. That familiar old feeling of melancholy came over me many times over the weekends as I worked on this humongous project. It felt like I was grinding up not just my life, but our joint lives.

I can say I don’t like how that feels. I already feel the loss of Wife deeply. No day passes when I don’t think of her at least once. When I’m at the office, I expect a text of telephone call asking about my day or when I’m coming home. I honestly think that’s part of the reason I now prefer to work at home. When I’m here at the house I know she won’t be calling or sending me a text. I know that she’s gone and not coming back.

On Saturday, I found myself thinking “I really don’t like feeling this way. I’m going to have to find a way to deal with this and move on.” Heh… I wish it was so simple.

Yet I recall one day during my clinical depression thinking nearly the same thing. That time I got up and started moving around. It marked a watershed in my recovery. I wasn’t done with the depression (or it wasn’t done with me), but I began my recovery that day and moved forward most days after that.

I think new things are coming for me. I’m going to finish this job. I have a few more cartons to deal with after I finish the last three that have unknown contents. But I know the contents of the remaining cartons. For them, it’s a simple matter of opening them and dealing with the contents. It will not be so difficult as the fossils nor will there be the same sense of history associated with the contents.

I need to make another pass through the books in this house. I can eliminate half of them or more. They should go to someone who will read them and wants the library. I might want to read many of the books, but I no longer want a physical library. I want a lot lighter load.

Furthermore, I want that load to comprise the things I use and will use. That’s a fairly short list and I think I can reduce my material possessions by half or more and still not quite be there. But I can work on it.

I have a target to work towards. That’s a good thing.

Chamisa

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Green

The Girl and I went on evening walkies Thursday just about the peak of the magic hour. The wind was a bit stiff and it was a bit cool (about 50F), so the sun felt really (really) good. I carried the Nikon D300 with the Nikkor 135/3.5 mounted. I framed and captured a number of images, but I’m still learning the camera and most of my high-contrast captures had blown-out highlights. That means I haven’t grokked the metering system of the camera yet.

This little ravine in the Indian Hills is a favorite. There is a geocache down in that mess, if you can believe it. The Girl and I retrieved that cache in the summer. (That was a mistake — hot and skeeters!) When fall comes, though, the rabbitbrush (chamisa) blooms and there is a bit of it in this little ravine.

Thursday evening found the sun brilliantly backlighting the chamisa and hint of tree color. While the Girl sniffed around, “hunting wabbits” I framed and made three captures. I like the composition of this one best.

This inexpensive little Nikkor 135/3.5 is a great lens. I’m quite impressed with it. I think I’ll have to do a shoot-out of the Nikkor 135/3.5 against the Hexanon 135/3.5 and 135/3.2 lenses. Those are probably my best lenses in the 135mm focal length.

Abstract

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Abstract

I’ve been walking about with the Nikon D300 and some lens affixed to it. I bought a Nikkor 135mm f3.5 from KEH early this week and it arrived a couple of days ago. Ken Rockwell recommends it as an underrated lens. For what I paid for it, it was an experiment.

I’ve been carrying it on the D300 for the last couple of days. My shoulder bag usually has a couple more Nikkors in it, but I enjoyed shooting this lens so much that I did not change out.

It is razor sharp, even wide open. It’s small and light and at f3.5 is only a half-stop slower than the much more expensive f2.8 versions. The bokeh is good as well.

A lot of folks don’t care for Ken Rockwell. But he was certainly right about this lens.

The Girl

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The Girl

Yesterday evening the Girl wanted to walk. So did I. So I grabbed her things and my things and we headed out. We walked around the subdivision for about a half hour and found ourselves at the public land near the cul-de-sac south from the house.

She really wanted to range out. But it was getting late and so I wouldn’t let her. I got the look a few times. I also managed a couple of captures with a Nikkor 135mm f3.5 short telephoto lens. I bought this lens on recommendation as an inexpensive but very sharp performer. It is certainly sharp, shot wide open.

Seimar-Donnex 200/3.5 Telephoto

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Chew ToyMy friend Jimmy loaned me a Seimar-Donnex 200mm f3.5 telephoto lens in Konica AR mount last Saturday. It’s a beautiful build and in wonderful condition.

I decided to put it on my Sony NEX-5N and give it a whirl. Late Monday morning, the Girl started asking for some attention. One of her toys was sitting in the floor outside my workroom. So I grabbed the NEX and shot the frame. I immediately noticed some magenta fringing in the high-contrast area of the image. That’s not unusual for telephoto lenses, particularly if the optical formula doesn’t specifically correct that aberration.

FlagA bit later we went for a short walk to check the mail. The neighbor’s flag is a favorite subject. I like to shoot it through the front-yard vegetation to get a bit of framing.

The light was pretty flat so there wasn’t a lot of contrast. The lens is plenty sharp, even wide open. I was impressed.

FlagMy final image for the day was a small flag one of my other neighbors has in his front yard. There was a little more contrast for this shot. I noticed just a hint of magenta fringing in the edges of the flag. It’s not a lot and could easily be corrected in post-processing. However, the lens has really nice bokeh when wide open. The background is smooth with just enough texture to provide some interest.

For me, this lens is not a keeper. It’s an interesting lens alright, but I have several in this focal length that provide equally interesting image quality. So I think I’ll let this one go. The build quality is excellent and the bokeh is quite nice. If I didn’t have some better lenses, this one would be worth the investment.

Besides that, I love odd lenses. It’s from a maker I’d never heard of.

G&L Fullerton, Reprise

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G&L George Fullerton Signature ModelMy (new-to-me) G&L George Fullerton Signature model guitar arrived this morning. The FeDeX deliveryman looked at me as I signed for the parcel, “A Guitar?” “Yep,” I responded.

At first, I resisted opening the box. But the need to confirm condition overwhelmed my desire to continue work. So, I cut open the end of the box and removed the tweed case carefully packed therein. I opened the latches and had a good look. The guitar is not perfect, but is in my kind of condition. That is, whoever had it before me cared for the instrument and took care of it.

I removed the instrument from its case and found the vibrato bar. The G&L vibrato bridge is one of the best I’ve ever used. I use a vibrato bridge when playing. That’s what it’s there for and it allows the player to drop and raise pitch, unlike bends, which can only raise the pitch.

I sat on the arm of my chair and played the instrument a little. The wave of emotion that washed over me was palpable. I was completely devastated by the intensity of my feelings. I’m still shocked at the strength of those emotions.

I suppose I repressed my feelings about music and guitars for some time. They jumped up this morning and bit me in the ass.

I put the instrument back into its case and returned to my worktable to try to work. That was a laugh. Instead, I sat in my chair and wept, nearly sobbing, for a half hour. Grief has a funny way of working itself out. My grief returned to me this morning and pummeled me for a half hour or more.

Although I’m still not sure what it was all about, I think my soul is telling me it’s time to pick up the instrument again. My first Fullerton was a marvelous instrument I should not have sold. It reached me at a deep level and was the first electric guitar I bonded with. It was an extension of my body and soul and allowed me to express myself musically in ways that I didn’t expect.

The timing is good as well. I’m nearing the end of my first purge of the house. The garage is nearly done so that project is coming to a close over the next few weeks. I have been wondering what will be next. In fact, I’ve been praying for guidance on what is next. I know when this big project is done I’ll be left hanging in that way that always happens after I am heavily invested in a big project and then it’s done.

My friend and master guitarist Scott told me to find a Fender Deluxe, either a ’65 model or the ’65 reissue. It’s not too powerful, has tubes (and tube tone), and will be a good match for my style of playing, my preferred music, and the Fullerton. I am not going to rebuild the pedalboard I once had, but intend to have only a few effects. They will be a delay, a drive, and a chorus/phaser/flanger.

What will I do with this? I have no idea yet. I think that for awhile my intent will be to permit myself to experience making music again as well as listening to it. Beyond that, I have no idea what will happen. Perhaps it doesn’t matter.