Category: ruminations

Daily Image: 09 December 2023 — Smurfette

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Smurette shot with the Fujifilm X-T5 and the Fujinon 60mm f/2.4 macro at f/2.8 using the Tri-X film simulation with red filtration.

Over the last few weeks I have been watching quite a few videos on YouTube about photographers and photography. A favorite channel is The Photographic Eye run by Alex Kilbee. His videos are all about learning photography and are top shelf.

In a recent video, Alex teaches against the notion that a photographer has to go somewhere, and particularly go somewhere exotic to find photographic material. He then talks about training the photographer’s eye, which is something that resonates with me.

Long, long ago, Wife and I were looking over some photographs that I made. She remarked to me “You see the world differently.” I admit that I was a little flattered at first. But, on further reflection, there was some truth in what she said.

I have referred to the book before, but Robert Foothorap’s book, 35mm Photography, was a favorite book — is a favorite book. It was written in a light, approachable tone and had plenty of his photographs. It is now old and out of print (sadly), but I consider it part of my education as a photographer. The other part being a more experienced amateur photographer who taught me a lot about the technical aspects of shooting and film. But, I digress.

Foothorap and my mentor taught me to look at things. After I bought my Argus-Cosina 35mm SLR, I carried it along quite a lot with a roll of Plus-X or Tri-X loaded. Although I did not always make the shot, I brought the camera to my eye many times to frame and focus the shot. That taught me to see what the camera saw, a bit of three-dimensional space smashed onto a two-dimensional surface (the film).

I learned that I could do the same without the camera… I was training my eyes to see like a photographer. And that brings the story around to what Wife said — I learned to look at the world a little differently.

Although I have had long periods when I was not actively making photographs, I retained that way of looking at the world around me. I remember any number of times looking at something and thinking, “That’s interesting. It might make a good photograph.” This year I started carrying a camera again, quote often. The Fujifilm X100V is an easy carry and makes good images.

But, that was a story-in-a-story… The outer story is about Kilbee’s admonition to look around and see what there is around you, there are many photographs to make if you take the time and energy to see. (And I paraphrase that, but he said as much.)

And so, I noticed Smurfette skating across the top of my multi-port hub. The Fujifilm X-T5 was handy and so was the Fujinon 60mm f/2.4 macro lens. I had a film simulation set and did not bother to change it. I rested my elbows on my desk and made the capture.

Alex Kilbee made a good suggestion. He also suggested an exercise to make 36 images of a subject. In the old days, that would be a 36-exposure roll of 35mm film. It is now just 36 actuations of the shutter of my digital camera. (No, I am not going to shoot film for this exercise.) This sounds like a good exercise to do a few times every week. It will have the side benefit of getting me out of my head and away from my work for an hour.

Thanks Alex and thanks Smurfette! Life is good.

The Attention Economy

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She’s always looking at her phone. Captured with MPro app on the iPhone 13 Pro Max.

I am working my way through Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. I picked it up again after I quit reading again a few weeks ago. But it is an important book for me to read. I want to finish it. I want to learn from Newport’s thoughts and experience. I want to spend less time on technology and more time doing things that nourish my soul.

The latter is something that has been in focus for a few weeks/months now. I took a sabbatical from Instagram several months ago, went back, caught myself doomscrolling, and deleted that IG app again. After my first IG sabbatical, I found and started reading Digital Minimalism and got to the point I was convinced that there are certain appetites I should not indulge1. I also deleted the Reuters news app from my iPhone, but left it on my iPad.

I check FB once or twice a day. I want to see if my kids posted anything, commented on one of my postings (I cross-post my weblog entries there), or if I received any DMs that need a response. Then I close the browser window.

This addiction is designed by the tech companies that produce the devices and the software that runs on them. IG, FB, X, and the others are all designed to provide that temptation to keep on scrolling. (Ooohhhhh… a sparkly!)

I now see that I will likely need to limit my YouTube access as well. I do not want to do away with YT; it is too valuable a resource to eliminate entirely. But I need to eliminate my use of it to occupy my mind with a nearly endless supply of fluff. It is not exactly doomscrolling, but it is close enough that I do not want to do it.

I usually check the Reuters news app on my iPad before I sleep. I spend a few minutes scanning the headlines and then reading a little if I want to know more. But I do not spend a lot of time on it.

I started noticing this addiction to our devices a couple-three years ago (maybe a bit more). Everywhere I went, I see people glued to the little glowing screen. They notice nothing of what is going on around them and see none of the beauty in the world. They are looking for that next dopamine hit, that “like” on a post or comment on a FB page.

When I visit my kids I see them doing the same thing. We sit in the living room, the three of us focused on the little glowing screen. I stopped much of that the last time I was there.

Instead, I got out my Kindle and worked on reading. I have a couple of books going on, usually. One will be a novel and the other something to learn from.

The Kindle has its own issues. There are too many books on my Kindle. I collect lots of samples of books I want (or think I want) to read. I usually push finished titles back to the cloud.

Yet, there are still too many books on my Kindle. I sometimes get stuck in a loop trying to decide what to read.

That is not a good thing.

I might need to go through my Kindle and delete the bulk of the content there. But that is another problem and another topic. At least I do not doomscroll through the Kindle. At least, I do not do that yet.

I made the capture Sunday afternoon at the restaurant in Bodine’s Casino. I went there after The Girl and I had a great hike out at Silver Saddle Ranch. I was hungry and could not decide whether I wanted a bar-burger or a Reuben sandwich.

The Reuben won the decision. Bodine’s has a decent sandwich. So we drove out there. I parked the rig in the sun and cracked the windows for The Girl. I went into the restaurant.

Yes, I had my iPhone with me. I did a quick check of email and then checked my open search lists on fleaBay. I then set my phone down on top of my hat. I decided not to use the phone as a distraction.

I noticed the people around me. There were several of us singletons there for a late lunch or early supper. I watched a couple in a window booth taking to each other. A woman across the aisle from me was working on her meal. Then I noticed the woman sitting alone in a window booth. She was fixated on her smartphone.

She made one of the captures I shot with the MPro app on my iPhone. The MPro app is a black and white camera application that only makes black and white images. It also produces high quality TIFF files as its output.

As I watched her, I thought about my own struggle with the digital black hole. I think I need to start carrying a small kit that has my Kindle, my journal (and a couple of pens), and a camera in it. The iPhone can serve as a decent camera, but I prefer a purpose-built tool for photography. But the iPhone will do in a pinch.

In the end, I believe that such a strong connection to a smartphone is not healthy. It takes us away from being present in the moment and in the place. It denies us the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of our surroundings and the breath of life.

I think there is nothing morally or ethically wrong with use of the devices. But I think they present a risk to intellectual and spiritual health. I have decided to be less connected to my device and spend that time on things that nourish my soul, such as reading, looking around when I am outdoors, interacting with The Girl, and my inner spiritual life.

The iPhone will be there. But it is the servant, not the master.

1Hat tip to A Beautiful Mind.

From the Past

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Wife, circa 2004, doing what she loved best… interacting with her family. Shot with my Nikon D100 and a Nikkor 80-200mm f/2.8, probably wide open.

As I woke yesterday morning, the thought passed through my mind that “it was a bad week.” That made me pause for a moment and consider my inner dialogue.

“No,” I rethought, “it was a hard week.” I then nodded to myself, slipped on my moccasins, and rose to go make a coffee and run through my morning regimen.

Wife would have turned 71-years old this week. I always take a few moments on her birthday to remember her. In the evening, I lift a glass to the east (which I often do anyway) to salute her and remember our communal life. The day is always a mix of happy and sad (maybe the definition of “nostalgia”), but I am OK with that.

In addition, my maternal grandmother, “Nana,” would have been 108-years old this week. She lived to be 100-years old before she wore out and died. She was one of the sweetest people you could ever meet and complemented my grandfather well. They were good people, God-fearing, and unselfish.

It was my grandmother who took me to buy my first book. I was about five-years old. The book was a 7th grade science textbook.

Work has been challenging the last few months; Hell, the last couple of years. There were many deadlines (still a few out there), lots of pressure, and requirements to do things I have not done or not done in a long time.

Pressure and deadlines are the life of a consultant. I accept that. But there has been little room to eddy out between and it is wearing on me. In fact, I am pretty worn down at the moment — to the point of considering to chuck it all, sell everything that I cannot carry in my rig/camper, and drive off.

So, after my thought on a bad week passed and was corrected, I made my coffee and returned to find The Girl had been licking her wounded toe. I hate to leave the collar on her all the time, but she knows when I am distracted and cannot help herself but to lick the wound, stripping the scab from it and delaying the healing action that goes on under the cover of the scab.

So, the collar went back on. With the collar on, she exudes misery and is very careful to tell me just how f*($*#g miserable she really is. Yes, she works it.

So, she added a little fuel to my internal fire.

I sat at the computer and took care of those things that demanded my attention. I then dressed, removed her collar, but her tracking and control collars on, repaired the control module for her control collar (broken knob), made sure I had water and a snack, and we headed to Silver Saddle Ranch to walk.

We took an alternate route to keep her off of the access road. It is hard and rocky and hurts her foot. We took the trail to the powerline trail, walked up the hill through the mass of sand burrs, and back through the Ranch compound. It was almost a three-mile walk. The sun was good for my soul and the exercise good to wear her down.

As we approached the rig and the end of our walk, I thought “I’d like a chili dog… I’m hungry.” So, we loaded up and headed north to the Sonic where I satisfied my craving. I shared the list bite of chili dog and half of the tater tots and the last bit of my strawberry shake with her. Then we headed home — for her to rest and me to finish my work for the day.

I also had a short nap with The Girl and then loaded her back in to the rig for a grocery run. She might as well go with me as stay at home. It was an expensive run at about $300, but it had been awhile since I last went. So, it was no surprise.

I ended my day with a bowl of chicken chili (from the crockpot) and a gin and tonic. I also fed The Girl and she got a bit of meatball left over from my last Olive Garden run.

At the end of the day I was tired and having The Girl snuggling next to me was good. The day ended with me in a better headspace and grateful for the day, grateful for The Girl, and grateful that I had Wife in my life for so many years.

The capture was made almost 20-years ago with my Nikon D100 (my first dSLR), a Nikkor 80-200mm f/2.8 zoom, most likely at 200mm and f/2.8. She was doing what she loved best — taking care of her family.

She is most definitely missed. But, still, I am grateful. Life is good.

Daily Image — 07 November 2023

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Captured on walkies using the Fujifilm X100V with its lovely 23mm f/2 lens at f/8. I used Reggie’s Portra 400 film simulation. Minor post processing in Iridient Developer (contrast, saturation, curves).

I am working on the hydrology for one of my projects. The weather is cooler and more windy, so I do not want to get out as early.

Once I made some progress on project work and the markets, The Girl and I headed out to walk Silver Saddle Ranch. The weather today was cooler than yesterday, but also less rainy. Still, I could see rain to the north in Washoe Valley and behind Mt. Scott. A curl of rain clouds pulled south to the east of Mt. Scott, but did not seem threatening.

The Girl continues to worsen the condition of her toe with the missing nail. If I am distracted for just a moment, I will catch her licking. So, she slept in the cone-of-shame last night, wore it all morning, walked without it (but limping), and is now wearing the cone. She will get to sleep in it again tonight, although I might remove it when we sit on the sofa to relax and snuggle.

I carried the Fuji X100V with me again today. Last night I read a bit on Ritchie Roesch’s website, Fuji X Weekly about those film simulations he recommends. He has a list of seven because most of the recent Fujifilm cameras have seven custom slots. I am already using several of his recommendations, but I have some empty slots to fill and will add his recommendations. Then I will use them.

Today I used Reggie’s Portra 400 simulation, which is intended to produce results similar to the Kodak Portra 400 film stock. One of the things Reggie did was to set Auto White Balance instead of using the Daylight balance of the regular Portra simulation. This adds a little to the flexibility of the simulation. There are other details as well, but I consider them relatively minor.

I came home with a couple of decent images. That is, images that I like. I make images for me — that is, I am the only one who needs to like them. If others like them, that is good. I appreciate the acknowledgement.

Alex (The Photographic Eye) recently did a video on the subtle impact of social media on the photographs we produce. This resonated because I left Instagram a couple of months ago (again) because I was tired of doomscrolling through things I did not want to see to find those that I do. On my IG account, I sometimes posted photographs I knew would gather more “likes” partly as an experiment. It is a nice dopamine hit to see that my work is appreciated.

What Alex made me think about is the who and why of my photography. It is good for me to do something creative and that is why I do it. The photographs are for me, because there was something about the subject that attracted my eye (and my mind).

So, what I share here and also on FB are images that somehow spoke to me and caused me to pause, find a composition, and make the capture (usually several). I do not always like the end result, but I usually learn something in the process.

OK, so I do indulge a little and share a lot of Doggo images. Those are for fun (and I do love the subject) and for my dog-loving friends.

So, I like this capture of Mt. Scott and the weather over Carson City. The fall colors are mostly gone, with just a few hangers-on. We’ll soon start to see snow and some gray days and certainly cooler temperatures. But I still love the high desert and I am good so long as the sun is shining.

Sunday Evening Rumination

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Captured with the Fuji X100V 23mm f/2 at f/8. I used Reggie’s Portra 400 film simulation, but the scene required some heavy post processing to make it look reasonable.

We fell back last night, or rather, early this morning. I woke about 0200h and could not tell if I woke pre- or post-change. I patted The Girl’s ass, got a sleepy look, and went back to sleep. (It’s a nice ass…)

Yesterday was a rather dark day for me. I remembered that Wife died early on a Saturday morning and I still miss her. I spent some time reflecting on our joint life and how I never expected to be the one who lived longer. I was supposed to die first, or at least that is what I believed.

I also thought quite a bit about Ki. I was looking through my image archive, remembering. I found a small cache of Ki photographs and then stumbled on this entry from years ago. That entry was not so much about the Vivitar 90mm f/2.5 Series 1 macro lens as it was about The Ki Girl.

Then The Girl and I got out to walk. I figured the fair-weather-walkers would be all over Silver Saddle Ranch, so we drove up to Spooner Summit and hiked our favorite trail there. I thought that would be good because the snow could fly anytime and then that hike will be much harder. I talked to my ham buddy while walking and watching her and that raised my spirits considerably.

I have been putting too much pressure on myself to move my personal projects forward. I have a desire to move on from the duplex to something else. I think a first step will be to spend some time with Older Son and his wife, spend some time seeing my loved ones (which means travel), and working on what is next.

But I am also working near full time (for the moment) and just spend more than a month overseeing a construction project. The latter left me with little time for other projects, so they are behind. Plus it left me with little energy on the weekends so not much got done but for recovery and the chores that had to be done.

As a result, my blood pressure yesterday morning was high… much higher than normal (for me). This morning I told myself “You have to give yourself freedom to do things as you can. You are putting too much pressure on yourself and it’s not healthy. Figure out what is the next thing you can do that will improve your life… then do that.”

So, today I worked on research for a new Winder$ laptop — one that can do all of the modeling work I need to do, but portably. I also had a nice walk with The Girl, a chat with Younger Son (who helped me with the research), a nap with The Girl, and nice cup of tea (Chai Spice, Earl Grey, a bit of sweetener, and cream).

I have some supper cooking (a box meal, but still good to cook for myself) and will sit with The Girl, some supper, and a glass of wine shortly. I have a meal plan for the week and a grocery list for tomorrow. I also have a plan for what work to accomplish this week and how to go about doing it.

In other words, it was a Good Day.

The image was captured on walkies today. The weather is changing (the wave cloud says so, as did the southerly wind). The image required quite a bit of post processing. Supper will be ready soon and The Girl and I will spend time together.

Life is good. I mean it.

Daily Image — 18 September 2023

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I made this capture in a Placerville, California used bookstore. I love used bookstores and should spend more time in them, and in the books I bring home. Capture with Fujifilm X100V at f/8 using a Tri-X 400 film simulation.

On my way home from testimony in Sacramento, I stopped in Placerville for a walk around and an early lunch. Placerville is an old gold mining town with a rich history. I really enjoyed the few minutes I spent wandering the streets with my Fuji X100V.

I am reminded that Placerville is not far and The Girl and I could drive over for a day to spend walking around and enjoying the history of the place. I might add this to my list of things to do.

I wandered into a used bookstore. I was reminded of how much I enjoy used bookstores, particularly those that are shoehorned into a cubbyhole like this one is. I wandered through the stacks, not looking for anything in particular. But i was drawn to the orderly-disorderliness of the stacks and thought it might make an interesting black and white image.

So, I made several. I think the Fujifilm X100V is nearly the perfect camera for this sort of shooting. At least, I find that I like the workflow that comes with it.

Back to my rumination… There was a nostalgia and a bit of melancholy that crept into my emotions as I wandered through the little store. Wife and I loved to visit these places. She always came away with an armful of books that were on her list, or by favorite authors. We would pay for her new treasures and off we would go, usually with her nose stuck in one of them not long after we exited the door.

Those were good days and I miss them. In writing this, a bit of the sense of loss returns knowing that those days are now my history. That part of my life is closed and now I am in another part of my life.

This part is good, too. But it is also diminished a bit because Wife no longer shares it with me.

Still, I remain grateful — grateful for that shared life and grateful for the life I have. Many good things are in my life. Life is good.

On This Day

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It has been awhile since I just wrote something. OK, so here goes something…

A part of me would like to ditch WordPress and go back to Textpattern. I developed a weblog format that I really like with Textpattern and ran if for many years. That is, until my hosting service decided they no longer wanted to be a hosting service. I guess me having a grandfathered free account, probably along with many others, might have had something to do with that.

So, the original owner of the hosting service, and developer of Textpattern, stated he would take the servers and honor his obligation.

Well he did, to a point. I was hosted on a unit called Pendrell and it failed catastrophically. There was a lot of back and forth about getting data off the backups. But it never materialized.

I had a backup, but still lost about month’s worth of entries. There was a lot going on in my life in 2013 and my weblog was not the highest priority.

I found another hosting service and setup a WordPress content management system. I never did work out how to migrate my old Textpattern content to the new CMS. There is more than ten-years worth of writing in that archive. I still have the backups.

Now I wonder if it is possible, or even wise, either migrate back to Textpattern (which is now open source and richly maintained) or try to find some help migrating my old Textpatter content to WordPress.

WordPress is probably the most widely used CMS. As such, it is regularly subject to attack. I have had to clean up a couple of times after being hacked.

I think that Textpattern is less susceptible to attack simply because it is not so widely used. I might be wrong. But I really liked my design and it was easy to change colors and header image once or twice a year to spruce it up a little.

I have a lot of content here on my weblog. A lot of it does not see much attention because it is far in the past. I was thinking about this and decided to see if there is a WordPress plugin that will display entries that I wrote on the current date. There is — it is called On This Day by Room34.

It is now implemented on the sidebar of my homepage.

In reviewing my work (after adding the widget to the sidebar), I came across an entry Trolls of the Internet Species. I read it and it is still true today.

Why this rang my bell again, so to speak, is that I watched an interview with Dr. Jordan Petersen a couple of days ago. He was answering questions about psychopathy and mentioned in passing Internet trolls. I do not have a link to the interview (The Telegraph was the channel), but it is definitely worth tracking down and watching.

I like the widget. I still wonder what to do with all of my archived content.

Daily Image — 30 August 2023

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Capture with Sony A7Sii and a Jupiter 3, 50mm f/1.5 wide open.

I woke (much too) early this morning, thinking about a report. It is OK — I often wake early when working on something challenging and have ideas for how to progress. I think on them a bit, then do something to distract my mind, and then return to sleep.

My distraction was discovering a set of weekly emails from David duChemin, a Canadian photographer and teacher. I really admire him, not just for his body or work, but because he is a good teacher. In his videos, he comes across as that friendly, caring mentor that you want to spend a lot of time with.

The emails were a string of lessons called The Vision Collective that I subscribed to several years ago. I read the first one, Abstraction. The direction was to create a set of abstract photographs. The assignment lasts a week.

Well, I am to far into the week. But I decided that I would make a few abstract images on walkies today. I should do the same for the next several days. Who cares if I take ten days or two weeks to complete the assignment? I am long past due anyway.

I purposely selected a new lens, a Jupiter 3 50mm f/1.5 rangefinder lens (L39 or M39 mount) from Russia. It has a red Cyrillic P that is supposed to mean a superior coating. The lens is probably about my age, so I do not expect much from the coating. But it is an interesting lens. It looks like it has 10 or 12 aperture blades (lovely). It is pretty fast. It has a good reputation for background blur/bokeh. My instance is in reasonable mechanical and optical condition for its age.

I mounted the lens on my Sony A7Sii and The Girl and I took off down our cul-de-sac. It was late, because I was working, so I expected a little shorter walk than usual. But I also knew she could play in the grass to cool off.

I made a few images and purposefully put some of them out of focus. The lens can make some beautiful soap-bubble bokeh balls. I think these are fun.

We paused where a drainage ditch crosses the old Carson Flume for another set of images. There is some water in the ditch that is not too bad because recent runoff cleared out all the trash. She splashed around a bit while I shot some sunflowers.

We paused again at the Station 51 Park so she could chase ground squirrels and roll in the wet grass. Then we headed home for water and some lunch (for me).

Looking for objects that might make an interesting abstract is an good exercise. I like the one for today. I think tomorrow I will look for something that will work in black and white.

Archive Image — Ki

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This image was captured 02 July 2016 while we were out hiking. She’d lived with me for about five years at this time. I still miss her.

I was browsing my image archive this morning, cleaning up some culls and organizing the directories. I stumbled across this capture of Ki I made seven-years ago. She was on overwatch as I climbed up towards her and she looks so happy. We had so many good times together. She was a great dog, not perfect but neither am I.

I still miss her. We will see each other again and have a big-ol’ play along with all the others.

Life is good.